Embracing Mr. Stiffy

OK. I was a week or so in re-hab, trying to get over the little "problem" I had with John Kerry getting the nomination. But now that my fellow Democratic compatriots in, like, 73 of 75 states or whatever it is, have decided that Kerry is the most electable Democrat before my state has even had its primary, who am I to argue? (I still need to decide whether to vote for Kerry next week in the Illinois primary or cast a nostalgia vote for Edwards or Howard Dean, or even throw my vote to Kucinich, who said some pretty articulate things while everyone ignored him, probably because of his gigantic ears.)

So Kerry can be a bit stiff -- but I ask you, what guy doesn't get a little stiff every now and then? If we held that against every guy, then we wouldn't have many "likeable" guys out there, now would we? So let us forget about Mr. Stiffy. Rather, let us embrace him, for he is fighting a cause much greater than chronic stiffness. Forget the long face. Forget the fact that his favorite sport is tour de France -- he's not getting any NASCAR votes anyway. Forget that he voted for the war, No Child Left Behind, and the Patriot Act. He kind of didn't mean to and anyway, what are you going to do? Vote for Ralph Nader? Kerry may be a stiff, flip-flopping, pseudo-French guy, but he's our man. He's our sort-of liberal candidate for president. And truly, that's about all we can expect out of the nominating process.